12 years ago today one of my best friends decided it was time to go rather than to stay on this mortal coil. That Dirk did what he did was a huge shock at the time, but when we all reflected back – the signs were there.
Dirk was one of those rare people in your life – the type that makes you laugh till you cry, the life of the party – and 12 years later I have still not found anyone to take his place. I think of him both often and fondly.
There are many people around me who have been affected by another’s suicide. It seems that these days most of us wont escape it’s effects.
At the time of Dirk’s death, and for many years after, I blamed myself. I felt I should have done more, I knew he was unhappy but I wasn’t aware of the roller coaster ride he was on – the highs and the lows….
But then you can’t blame yourself forever, and in a way you have to accept that it was their decision and that for them at that time – it felt right.
All I know is that life is hard, and life is short – and we have to make the most of it. We have to be resilient and strong – because sometimes life doesn’t go the way we planned.
The material things we think we need – aren’t always so important and surrounding ourselves with people that love us and accept us is more important. The career or job you were so intent on – suddenly loses importance in the bigger scheme of things….
Two years to the day and at the same hour that Dirk left this earth, my first daughter was born. It took me a little while to realize the coincidence. To me this is a message that Dirk lives on, a part of him is around me and in my daughter, his spirit is with me and his memory will endure.
So seize the day, you don’t know what is around the corner, make the most of what life serves you up – acknowledge your misery, but pick yourself up, dust yourself off and punch life in the nose. Only the tough survive.
– Justine Eden